When it comes to slots, one sure bet - It's gonna be an 'effin' 5-ring circus

HEY, HOWYA think this casinos-come-to-Philly thing's working out? Well, let's review.

Today, the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board (the we-ain't-talkin' tribunal picking exactly where casinos go) is to wrap up site hearings.

Then it's supposed to issue Philly's two licenses by the end of next month. So we're getting down to cuttin' time.

My prediction? Pain.

Fun, maybe, but I'm betting (pun intended) on substantial suffering. There are five city sites backed by big bucks and heavy hitters, local and not; lawsuits by neighborhood groups; a rush to award the two licenses before the political clock changes; and the coming and inevitable conclusion that the selection process is fixed.

In the mix are big-name local lawyers Dick Sprague and Tommy Leonard, big-name local sports guys Pat Croce and Billy King, and big-name national types Quincy Jones and The Donald.

(For added enjoyment, and as a matter of disclosure, Daily News and Inky publisher Brian Tierney is also a player.)

Plus, some pols are waiting to use anger over casino placement as an issue in next year's mayoral and City Council races no matter what happens and regardless of the fact that the decision comes from the state.

In the words of one veteran city Democrat: "It's an 'effin' circus just in time for Christmas."

At base are three layers of opposition: those who think the '04 slots law is bad and ought to be repealed, those who think the site-selection process is flawed and ought to be changed, and those who think one or more of the city sites is lousy and ought to be avoided.

Add to this a press by locals looking for more hearings and/or documentation on site proposals and neighborhood impact; a push for "special services districts" and set-aside funds to deal with traffic, trash and event planning once casinos open; and whatever political intrigue bubbles up along the way.

And you know there'll be some.

I like the fact, for example, that the state attorney general, who's charged with policing political contributions from gambling interests, doesn't have the resources to do so. A spokesman says the AG will rely on "referrals," meaning tips, to chase down violators.

Wonder why? You don't think enforcement might be lax, do you?

Lawsuits challenging gaming-board decisions go right to the state Supreme Court, the same court held in such high public esteem for its role in the '05 pay-raise debacle.

Then there's the prospect of process chaos.

A well-placed source tells me that gaming-board chief Tad Decker wants out, reportedly to go back and head his city law firm, Cozen O'Connor.

This is no small incentive to leave the headaches of public service, headaches Decker wears on his visage like a blinking highway sign.

There's also concern over the fact that the terms of four of the seven board members, those appointed by the Legislature, expire in January.

(There's already buzz of one replacement being just-defeated Democrat Mike Veon, the only lawmaker to vote against repeal of the controversial pay raise. Wouldn't that be a confidence-builder?)

And if license awards aren't settled quickly, it's possible that new board members get named, further mucking up a process that hasn't exactly run glitch-free.

Imagine the push to do licenses now. Imagine the turmoil if they get left to a new board and chairman. Can you say "re-do?"

And remember, this stuff is huge. It'll change the personality of one, maybe two sections of the city, and bring in millions of visitors, billions of dollars and thousands of new jobs, along with whatever ills -- crime, addiction, traffic snags, etc. -- come with large-scale legalized betting.

It's gonna happen, part of a statewide, 14-site deal with 61,000 slots to pump money into education and property-tax breaks. But I don't see it happening in Philly without a sizeable serving of angst.